Tag Archives: life in modern Iran

Learn to Fight with Pink Lipsticks and Safety-pins!

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A warm late spring day before university final exams start with classes still in session I went with my friend to hang out in her college. I got dressed, took a bus very early in the morning and followed her to the university’s front gate. I had just stepped inside the university’s entrance when a security guard stopped me. A middle aged woman, with a half of a smile frozen on her lips stepped down from a raised cement booth and walked toward me. Very calmly and nicely she reminded me that I am not a student there, thus cannot enter the university.

Exited for my visit, got up early and dressed to leave!

I was told by my friend that she is nicknamed Sanjagh-Ghofli or safety-pin. As I stood there, staring, trying to make a connection between her and a safety-pin, my friend and her classmates began a loud argument.

“She is our guest,” one said. “Is this how Iranians treat their guests” the other followed. “Don’t be so cruel.” “She won’t do anything,” my friend said. But her classmate lied, “She is our case study for psychology class.” I heard someone saying “Why do you like to make our lives hell?”

My friend studies in a small private university. Rumors have it that it is financially sponsored by the revolutionary guards. I personally couldn’t find any information about the accuracy of that claim. But it is clear that her college is somewhat different from other Iranian colleges when it comes to tightened security. Even though the university is technically called Azad or what westerners would consider a non-state university, the academic agenda of the school would be the same as any other higher education institution in Iran. However, my friend’s college is amongst the few remaining colleges (excluding seminaries and Quranic schools) that demands women to wear Chador and enter from gender segregated doors.

As I stood at the gate, speechless about Safety-pin’s wit on knowing every single student by face, my friend looked determined to get me in. Within the first five minutes of my arrival, however, I lost all my hope and told my friend to call for a taxi so I could go home.

“Are you out of your mind?” she asked me in disbelief. “This is Iran! You don’t let any one tell you what to do. Mijangi! Woman, you will fight here!” she said tightening her mandatory chador beneath her chin and went back to the circle of her friends who were enveloping safety-pin in front of her security guard booth.

I stood back and watched. I have to admit, I was very scared. But I couldn’t find any reason for my fear. Suddenly, my fear worsened when I heard the word “America.” My heart dropped. I heard “journalist” and I began to shiver. Cold sweat began to run down my neck. I felt the rush of blood through my veins and my body, nearly toasted underneath the black uniform and black chador grew hotter and hotter. My heart was beating fast and I was helpless in preventing my face from turning red. I begged my friend–in silence–to not to mention any thing about me being an American educated journalist.

Safety-pin rolled her eyes after hearing those words and gave every one a disdainful smile.

“If you treat her like this, what will she write about us when she goes back to America?” I was sure that safety-pin will call Hersat–Islamic Republic of Iran’s notorious intelligence service at universities and governmental offices. Instead, she shrugged and a half-smile froze on her lips.

“What do you think she would write?” my friend repeated her question again and waited for an answer. But Safety-pin’s silence was enough for me to know that she could care less about America. She would probably think of it as the great Satan, like Ayatollah Khomeini called it during 1979 revolution. Why would she care about what Americans think of her country? She could have very well been one of those people who had participated in the revolution just to get rid of the American interference in Iranian matters.

I was ready to leave. I pulled my friend aside. This time I really begged her to let me go. I wasn’t direct about it, of course. My reputation as a courageous woman was at stake, so I claimed I don’t want to jeopardize her education specially when Safety-pin was holding her student ID in her hands. However, she assured me that it wasn’t about me any more. She “will get me in.” Then, she made Sanjagh-Ghofli to call her supervisor and ask for her permission. Yet, the battle did not end there. She hung up the phone and swaggered toward her chair. She sat behind the desk, ponderously opened a book in front of her. “I told you! The answer is still no.”

My friend’s classmates who were late for class, left. Even though she was late too, my friend wasn’t going to give up. She left me at the gate to go talk to the supervisor herself. It was too late to back up. I had to gather my courage and be graceful for her effort. So, I walked into Safety-pin’s booth and sat on one of the three chairs in front of her desk. I occasionally looked at her from the corner of my eyes to see if I could read her expressions. Of course, there was none. There were no feelings in her face to read or interpret. She was doing her job. She gets paid to make sure the safety of the college is not threatened and in her opinion I could be a threat.

I sat there hiding my shaking hands under the chador, praying for my friend to show up soon. All of a sudden, I heard “Koja? Come back here, right now!”

It was the same familiar warning I had heard fifteen minutes earlier when she spotted my unfamiliar face in the crowd. I looked up and I was immediately taken aback from what I was seeing.

“Oh, there is going to be a nasty fight,” I thought to myself.

Safety-pin got out of her chair and stepped out side of the booth.

“What makes you think you could get in like this?” she asked in a calm, genuine tone.

A young woman dressed in black chador which was perfectly covering all her hair was walking away from the entrance door. Her bright pink lipstick flashed against her dark features. She was wearing an exaggerated pair of big brown Chanel sunglasses that strangely put more emphasis on her lips.

The young woman would not stop at Safety-pin’s warning, so she had to run after her and grab ing her by arm.

Khanoomam, my lady, you cannot enter with such make-up.”

When chador is considered the only proper Islamic dress for an Islamic academy, make-up and bold colors are subsequently going to be considered not proper and non-Islamic.

“Come on, Mrs. Moradi!” she kept answering each time Safety-pin whose real name I had just learned asked her to clean it up or turn in her student ID.

“Take off your glasses at least. Are you wearing more make-up under there?” Questions followed, but the young woman’s reaction was the same. Just a slow “come-on” with a big bright smile.

I, who had forgotten about my own situation, was enviously watching the young women reaction to something that could probably cause me a panic attack. I watched how the two women performed their duties; Mrs. Moradi to enforce Islamic values and the woman to disobey them.

All of a sudden, the young woman freed herself from Mrs. Moradi’s arm and grabbed her shoulders instead. She violently shook her. “ I cannot! Mrs. Moradi, I cannot.” She repeated again, “I cannot take off my lipstick.” She said in such sympathetic tone that both Mrs. Moradi and I became anxious to know why.

She took her hands off of Mrs. Moradi’s shoulders and began to walk backwards away from her. She raised her arm and waved at her, shouting “because my lips will be chapped if I don’t wear lipstick.”

Mrs. Moradi looked like a planted flower where she was standing watching the young woman disappear into the crowd. She was still smiling when my friend who was running toward me shouted “Let’s go!” Finally, Mrs. Moradi’s supervisor called. She said I can come inside the university.

Later, I asked my friend what happened between her and the supervisor.

“Irad-e-alaki!” an unimportant excuse “she asked me if your Hijab was proper.”

“And what did you say?”

“Even better than yours!” my friend said in triumph with a victorious smile for being able to mock the system that is supposed to control her.

I wondered if Mrs. Moradi was still smiling about the young woman who played with her rules that morning or she was angry that I won my case. Is she going to take revenge? Or is she going to brush it off with a frozen half-smile on her face?

I didn’t know the answer, but I was really content–not because I won–because I had no more fear. I had learned how to dance around the restrictions. I was happy because I had learned that number one rule was to break the rules–while laughing, wearing pink lipstick and fighting with safety-pins.

 

My Bare Feet on The Rugs

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The old woman pulled her dark blue floral chador closer to her face and walked toward me. Her eyes were full of genuine love and hospitality.

“Come with khodam!” “You don’t have to stay with men.”

“The Old Woman” Is Weaving Her Carpet

She invited me to go inside her house. In small villages, it is not common that sexes mingle and she couldn’t see the reason for me to be hanging out with four men bargaining over price and discussing business.

I wanted to stay where the “real” business was taking place, but I knew I had no choice. A small village where all its younger residence left for big cities, trying to challenge the tradition would be meaningless.  So, I did not protest and followed the old woman. Once we got inside the house, a tray of freshly boiled tea was waiting for us. A young slender woman who was carrying a toddler, greeted me but abruptly disappeared.

Aroosameh–my daughter-in-law” she told me and sat down on the floor.

“Which one is your father?”

“The bald man in white who was talking to me.”

“And where is your mother?”

“She has given her life to you,” I tried to utter the most polite Persian way of saying someone has passed away, but she even didn’t let me finish my sentence and slapped her cheek.

“Ya Allah, she must have been so young!”

I said  “Yes, she was” and immediately started a new the subject, “My dad has brought me on this day trip to show me the art of ghali-bafi.”

“Carpet making? yes, yes, but how did she die?”

“Cancer”

“But isn’t your father a doctor?”

“yes, but…” she didn’t let me finish this time either and said “Allah’s wishes! What can one do?” “May Allah rest her soul.”

“May Allah rest the soul of your deceased ones too” once again I politely replied.

Then I answered more questions about my age, my marital status, numbers of my siblings and so on, but I was really pasting the simplicity and cleanliness of room with my eyes. The sound of a cow mooing and chickens picking seeds in the front yard was soothing. I had grown up with animals myself. Though we never had the privilege of owning a cow, hens and roosters, rabbits, turkeys and turtles always frequented our back yard.

I thought of telling her about my background with animals so she wouldn’t think I am a sentimental city girl. But before I gather my guts to say anything, my father, his friend Mr. Soltani and his apprentice, Ali walked in. I couldn’t tell whether they had reached an agreement on carpets Mr. Soltani wanted to purchase for his store in uptown Isfahan.

“Ya Allah,” the men shouted to alarm the women inside about walking into the room.

“Parisa, baba did you see the chickens? just like ours, nah?” My father said in such enthusiasm that I thought there was no point in holding grudge against what he had said earlier.

“Yes, Didam” I smiled.

Mr. Soltani asked the old woman to show us how she weaves. I pulled my camera out of my purse and got ready to snap some photographs.

“Oh, No, I look horrible in films,” she said and pulled her scarf and her chador tighter.

“I am sure you would look lovely.”

She walked to the end of the room where men followed. She pulled a white sheet off the daar–or the carpet weaving loom (frame) and sat crossed legged on a small piece of the carpet already weaved.

The type of carpet she was weaving had its frame horizontally placed on the floor as suppose to the standard vertical looms. Her ancestry was originally from Tabriz in North of Iran where they had immigrated to the central city of Isfahan. Thus, her style of making carpet followed the Turkish style of carpet weaving.

The design also was called Yalameh which often lacks the typical floral imageries of Persian carpets and instead has square shapes in a row–exactly in the center of the carpet–which represent the fountain’s of heaven in Persian and Islamic culture.

She held a sharp knife in her hand and began to knot and cut.

after a couple of knots my father protested and asked her to slow down.Then he bombarded her with questions:

“How do you know what color to use?”

“Why not green first, instead of white?

“What is your knot called” and so on.

She looked at my father in astonishment and replied something that didn’t make sense to any one. So, her son, Ali, interrupted.

“She can’t explain! It’s all in her head and she just know it without needing to follow any patterns.”

“That’s true!” the old woman confirmed.

I took my camera closer to her and to her loom. My father and the rest of the men had drifted into the other side of the room to discuss his questions. The old woman’s husband, a short, chubby   man had walked into the room also. I sensed that he is about to ask my father some medical questions.

I asked how she learned to weave carpets.

Examining of Yalameh Rugs

“When I was ten, twelve, or maybe thirteen, I learned from my mother and our neighbors, Turks of Yalameh.

“How old are you now?”

“I am 60 years old.”

I could not believe that I have been thinking of her as an “old woman.” What has life done to you, I wished I could ask her. But, it seemed she had heard my thoughts so she said; “It’s hard life, you know!”

She told me about bearing children, farming and taking care of livestock. She told me about primitive life in a small village. She also told me about weaving carpets that will bring her no benefits.

“Do you know how long it takes to finish this one?” After guessing her age wrong, I didn’t even want to try, so I stayed silent.

Yek saal.” one whole year because she did not have enough time to commit to the weaving. After house chores and between farm work, she would get an hour to sat down and weave a row of her carpet. A small carpet that would serve as something like a  door mat would take so much of her time and energy just to  give an extra income. At the end, with the high price of the wool and the amount of hard work put into it, she would not get even  half of what her effort is worth.

A View of Mr. Soltani’s Rug Store in Uptown Isfahan

Two weeks later I was angry at my father again. This time, he had made me go to Mr. Soltani’s house for dinner. His wife, a middle aged woman with a thick Isfahani accent who kept moving her hands in the air making her numerous gold bangles and bracelets jingling, kept repeating she wonders how anyone could not eat meat.

As I slowly chewed on white rice and listened to her saying that she “even didn’t know what to make that was geeyahi,” I was thinking how cruel my father had made me go there tonight.

“No problem,” my father reminded her to stop worrying about my vegetarianism  because very soon a long list of illnesses will teach me the hard way that my body needs meat.

Iranians are real meat-eaters. In a culture where meat is considered both a privilege and a sign of hospitality, even for a doctor who should know the nutrition facts of vegetables, grasping of depriving oneself from meat is a difficult task. However, it wasn’t his usual belittling talk that was angering me.

I was upset because of the “old woman.” The day trip to Talkhoonceh, the village where she hosted us, has left a devastating impact on me. Never before I had felt the pain and effort put into making carpets–the most essential element of Iranian life. Mr. Soltani and millions carpet and rug dealers like him are the ones who make fortune out of them. His huge, mansion-like house, layers of Persian rugs spread on top of one another and his wife’s noisy gold jewelry were evidence of that.

“what did you think Amoo joon?” Mr. Soltani asked me.

“I am never going to set a foot on a Persian carpet ever again, unless I am bare feet.” I informed him of my resolution after meeting the woman.

“wow!” he looked at me baffled and asked why.

I told him that I have found Persian carpets to be moghadas!

His wife agreed with me and said she too has often thought of them being sacred. Then, she told me a story about her childhood when her own mother and aunts weaved carpets and sang–a way to communicate with one another about what color knot to tie.

I quietly listen to her enchanting story to calm my anger down. But in my head, the sound of her bangles played against the sound of the heavy steel comb hitting the rows of tied knots on the “old woman’s” unfinished carpet.

I told myself, this must be the unfairness of life.

“Allah’s wishes. What can one do?”